Changing the attitude.

I have an attitude problem.
Not in a stroppy cow way but in an art way.

Today I have realised that unlike most artists my mind has been back to front. Of course this makes little sense but it's the reality of my situation.
Most people who want a career in art start of drawing whatever they like whether that be graphic gore or rainbow ponies, whatever it is it's always what they want to create. I was like this for most of my teenage and childhood. From what I can tell most people continue to have this attitude until they get closer to a career in the art world and then have a realisation that they need to create work that other people want to see.
I hit this realisation long before I had even thought about turning my hobby in to something more... Years ago I tried to create what other people liked, what they would be interested in... Amusingly this normally backfired and people weren't interested but that's my point. I have stressed and worried so much over what to create that I forget to create my own art.

I'm asking myself the question, do I need to create what people want and if I do is it really my art or am I just a creator.

Art to me is something that comes from inside. You can't help it, it just happens. This goes for anything creative, music, writing, knitting... actually it's any real passion. You just can't help but do it because there's this urge building up inside you that you just can't stop.
I used to get that all the time and follow through, I had huge ideas that normally lead to huge paintings that were out of my league in some cases.
It didn't matter what other people would think it was what I wanted to do and normally the end result was liked by others.
So why did I put a restraint on that part and start trying to make things other people would like...?

The time old thing of money. I wanted to make it in the art world.
I thought to do this I would need to make what a buyer would want so I restrained the open part of me and tried to stick to the norm and what would "Look good"

And what happened?
I ended up staring at blank paper and screens for hours stressing over what would be approved and liked.

It's only now that I realise that isn't art. It's not the same as getting to work on something and pouring your heart in to it. Everything I do when I truly sit down and want to make this picture has my all in it. I will spend hours, days, weeks, months you name it to get something how I want it. I will work on a tiny branch of a tree for hours hoping to get it right.
That is art.

My realisation is sure if you want to make it in the art world you do need to work on what people want or you will make little to no sales. This is a fact.
But there is also the fact that if you have a style people like, if you put out work that is purely you, people may like it just as much as something made to please the crowds.
There is no set look for anything. I have seen photo realistic paintings getting dusty in shops whilst a painting beside it that some would say looks like a 5 year old could have done it sells out.

It's a learning curve.
I got too serious about my passion and I was slowly killing it.

So for the next few weeks I'm going to stop thinking about what other people would like and I'm going to focus on my own work and what I want to create.
Letting out the muse for playtime I guess.

You just have to learn what works for yourself and not for others in the long run.