Now as you all know, I started my art business properly on the 4th of February this year. It was a massive thing and I was running on such a buzz at pressing the open shop button for a good few weeks.
But starting a business is tough. Well to be fair doing anything is tough and doubts start to kick in.
The worst part I've found about my job is that I can spend weeks putting my heart and soul in to work, working through the night, full on through the day to the point where I forget to eat or my newest thing, forgetting to pee! I do the shuffle well cos, I'll stop just after the next line... or the next... It truly is madness!
But anyway, you do that for a few weeks and get it all going and then you get nothing in return, in fact I'm now getting less views and feedback than I did before my major crazy work burst.
And you know, it really sucks and is a total blow to your self esteem. I'm sitting here now after spending a few hours going over everything and updating things and it really is like a kick to the stomach. There's this lingering thought of, this isn't working out in the back of my mind which I know is wrong, after all I've only been going a couple of months and can't expect miracles.
But the louder voices are more what did I do wrong, is my work not good enough, are my prices too high, am I missing something, am I dreaming here.
I have my wonderful partner reminding me that I'm being silly with these thoughts and that these things take time and I know he's right. I know he's completely right and I'm just being impatient but at the same time I also feel like I should be doing more.
My biggest worry is when I hit these self doubt moments I tend to lose my muse and can't even draw a line let alone create good products!
I'm also not trying to whine here, just documenting the ups and downs of starting a small art business and trying to claw your way up desperately!
It's not all bad either, I'm still loving what I do, still have so many ideas and don't regret my decision. It's just very hard to stay positive when you seem to have lost a bit of control.
But then again I also know that I am in complete control and there is lots more that I can do right now.
Sure money always helps and right now, I don't really have any. Right now all my money is going in to savings for mine and my partners future... which could be getting exciting by the end of next month, oh fingers crossed for some good luck! So my money is for better things and I'm trying to do this on a budget.
So I guess when you look at it that way I've actually done pretty well ;)
So yes, the self doubt has kicked in but I'm not giving up. If anything it's making me work harder and fight to get somewhere! Which is always a good thing ;)
I guess I've rambled today, it really is because so much is happening right now in my little world and I'm just having to keep hold of what I can and control what I can and the rest, well, that'll all turn out fine in the end.
Warm happy thoughts to everyone out there and have an amazing week!
I do have a special post happening later this week so please check back!!
We've got this!